August 7, 2014 has been declared Edwin Edwards Day by the mayor of Austin, TX. We’ll pause while you collect yourself from having your mind blown away by that little golden nugget of information.
Really, even without Louisiana’s current leadership batting an eye regarding that designation, it’s EWE Day for us all here in the Bayou State and proper celebratory activities are in order for an occasion like this. We’ve compiled a list of appropriate Edwin Edwards Day activities for you, your friends, and your trophy wives to enjoy.
1. Work in at least one of these iconic EWE quotes into normal conversation today (good luck):
- “I will be a model prisoner as I was a model citizen.”
- “The only way I can lose (the election) is if I get caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.”
- “I give blood for them to make Viagra.”
- “He’s (David Treen) is so slow, it takes him an hour to watch 60 minutes.”
- “I never speak ill of dead people or live judges.
- “People say I’ve had brushes with the law. That’s not true. I’ve had brushes with overzealous prosecutors.”
- “I’m not gonna give up ’til they come get me.”
2. Come up with your own hand signal
“Throw your hands in the air, and wave ’em like you just don’t care…. about my conviction on 17 counts of racketeering, extortion, money laundering, and other stuff!”
3. Do your best Kim Jung Il impression
That’s just what we assume is what he’s doing with those glasses.
4. Take ill-timed wedding photos.
We’d LOVE to know where the reception was held.
How do you plan on going about the rest of today?
Sources: NOLA.com, Chicago Tribune, Brainyquotes.com